If you’re a horse owner, would we be correct in saying that they’re wiser to the world than you are? (According to them anyway!) From the perfect bedding to riding in the arena, they’ve got it sussed and they just wish that you’d get a grip and catch up with their level of intelligence. Here we list out 8 things your horse knows, but you definitely don’t!

Some prime examples: 

Sleeping on top of warm horse poo is luxurious 

And why on earth haven’t you tried it? When it’s chilly outside or, most likely, when you’ve taken the time to bathe your horse so he’s all clean and shiny. Snuggling down for the night on the most recently produced pile of muck is, apparently, the stuff dreams are made of. We hear your sighs from here and join you with the head shake of disbelief. 

Bye, bye water buckets  

We can all imagine the moment of pure joy your horse must experience when they’ve kicked a full bucket of water around the stable and thinks “This is completely worth it.” Being safe in the knowledge that you’ll soon be along to tidy up and re-do his bed and refill the water bucket. Or the other alternative is poo in the water bucket! Do they do it for a bit of target practice? 

Pheasants are TERRIFYING 

We agree with the horse on this one... Imagine that you’re out enjoying a hack in the serene countryside when BAM! A strange creature flies out of the hedge making that awful squawking sound and your heart starts racing. Your horse doesn’t want to just stand there and run the risk of you or, more importantly, them being taken out by the feathery monster! So, there’s only one thing to do when this emergency strikes and that’s to turn and run. Maybe next time they will be gracious enough to send you the turn and run memo! 

Catch me if you can! 

This must be one of their favourite games ever. When you come out into the field with headcollar in hand your horse just knows it’s time to run. Racing around and around trying to get hold of them, but never being able to catch up, until they eventually give up as it must get boring being in front after a while. Clearly you need to up your exercise game and train harder.  

Hay belongs in our beds 

Do you ever get the feeling that horses miss the fields when they’re in their stables? When you put loose hay on the floor, do they try to re-create their natural habitat in the confines of the four walls? Simply put, your horse is telling you that hay belongs EVERYWHERE: bed, doorway, the lot. According to them it makes them feel at home until you finally see sense and put them back in the fields the next day. 

Going into an outline is optional 

You know when you decide to stay in and watch TV instead of going to the gym. Your four-legged friend seems to take this influence when asked to do their best Valegro impression, realistically it’s not always going to happen. Sometimes they just don’t feel like it, and you should really learn to accept that.  

Our choice of stride is always the best 

Basically, horses know everything, so when you ask your horse to ‘collect’ and ‘lengthen’ or whatever you want to call it they’re obviously going to ignore you because you know nothing. Your horse will decide whether or not to take off. And that decision will be final.  

You definitely haven’t fed us 

You’re completely mistaken. You absolutely did not feed them 20 minutes ago. Honestly. 

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